of Paul Mossberg, New Jersey Replicar Club)
Lucas Electric motto: "Get home before dark."
denies having invented darkness. But they still claim "sudden,
of the first intermittent wiper.
of the self-dimming headlamp.
three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other
three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
original anti-theft devices--Lucas Electric products.
had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any
Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.
you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.
not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal
Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much
you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover
and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another
at night, since they all look the same?" "He replied,
it doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens!"
in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began
manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered
which didn't suck.
Assurance phoned and advised the Engineering guy that they had
trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.
do the English drink warm beer? Lucas makes the refrigerators.
Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: check
the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times
sunwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness
protect your unworthy servant."
systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.