"For
Sale" terminology aids.
(special
thanks to Dennis Wray of the Crosley Automobile Club,............
and to James Bavousett of Dallas, Texas)............ |
| If
the ad claims... |
It
really means... |
| rough condition... |
too bad to lie about |
| parts car... |
beyond repair |
| immaculate... |
recently washed |
| concours... |
recently waxed |
| engine quiet... |
if you use 90-weight oil |
| needs minor overhaul... |
needs engine |
| needs major overhaul... |
Phone the junkyard |
| burns no oil... |
(it all leaks out) |
| rebuilt engine... |
Cleaned the spark plugs. |
| Drive it away... |
I live on a hill. |
| Drive it anywhere... |
(within 10 miles) |
| desirable classic... |
No one wants it. |
| rare classic... |
No one wanted it even when it was new. |
| stored 20 years... |
(in a farmer's field) |
| ran when stored... |
Won't start. |
| never apart... |
Bolts too rounded to loosen. |
| solid as a rock... |
rusted solid |
| restored, with 0 miles... |
Won't start. |
| restored, with 2 miles... |
Won't stay running. |
| older restoration... |
First owner washed it. |
| good investment... |
Can't be worth much less. |
| no time to restore it... |
Can't obtain parts. |
| 95% complete... |
Other 5% doesn't exist. |
| Other
interests conflict... |
Spouse's
ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I go!" |
| Doesn't smoke... |
when it's out of oil. |
| New slick racing tires... |
I burned the tread down to the belts. |
| Re-upholstered... |
New K-mart seat covers and floor mats. |
| Major preformance upgrades... |
Bolted a new exhaust tip on the tailpipe. |
| Kept in garage... |
The scratches are from my cat. |
| Pampered/adult driven... |
I'm 17 and I think it's about to die. |
| Complete restoration... |
New Earl Scheib paint. |
| New paint... |
Don't let it get wet. |
| Sporty... |
It's got a floor shifter. |
| Family car... |
There's still food under the seats. |
| Good school/work car... |
More dents than a golf ball. |
| Worth $xxx--sacrifice for $xx... |
I can't believe I paid $xx for it myself. |
| Lots of extras... |
Everything that fell off/out is in the trunk. |
| Quiet engine... |
You can't hear it over the broken headers. |
| Traction control... |
Starts moving only in 2nd gear. |
| Race modified... |
It's got Japanese stickers on the back window. |
| Exotic... |
It leaves a funny taste in your mouth. |
| Precision machined... |
I used a degreaser. |
| FAST... |
-ER than my mom's Geo. |
|